Threat, Stress, and Trauma: The unspoken influences on your money personality

Have you ever wondered why some financial decisions are harder to make than others? It’s not always just about the numbers or the facts laid out in a spreadsheet. Deep down, emotions, stress, and even past experiences like threats and trauma play a significant role in how we manage our finances. 

This is incredibly important to acknowledge when crafting a comprehensive strategy to grow your wealth and harmonise it with your broader life goals and emotional well-being.

The Role of Threat in Financial Decisions

Threats don’t have to be life-altering or catastrophic to influence our choices. Even mundane circumstances like unexpected bills or market fluctuations can trigger a sense of threat. In these situations, we instinctively resort to a ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ mode. The way you react depends heavily on your money personality. 

If you’re a ‘saver,’ a financial threat might make you even more conservative, causing you to hoard cash and potentially miss out on investment opportunities. If you’re a ‘spender,’ you might react by buying something luxurious to alleviate the stress, which only compounds the financial strain you’re experiencing.

Stress: More than just a feeling

Stress has a particularly insidious way of affecting our financial judgment. It creates a sense of urgency, leading to impulsive decisions like tapping into savings prematurely or investing in high-risk ventures. 

Stress amplifies the characteristics of our money personality in ways that aren’t always beneficial. In a stressed state, ‘risk-takers’ may make even bolder investment choices, while ‘risk-averse’ individuals might sell off investments at the first sign of trouble, incurring losses that could have been avoided.

The lasting impact of trauma

Trauma differentiates itself from threat and stress by its enduring nature. Financial traumas can be severe, such as bankruptcy or foreclosure, or they can be less obvious, like growing up in a financially unstable household. These experiences imprint themselves on our psyche, shaping our attitudes and behaviours around money for years or even decades. The ‘avoider’ money personality might steer clear of financial planning entirely, fearing a repetition of past traumas. Conversely, those with a ‘money monk’ personality may perceive all financial matters as morally problematic, avoiding investments and maintaining a lifetime of unnecessary frugality.

Building financial resilience: Five Guiding Principles

Even though threat, stress, and trauma can strongly hone financial habits, understanding their impact is empowering. Here are five principles to help you build resilience:

Know Thyself: Being aware of your money personality is crucial for recognizing how you might react to different financial scenarios.

Be Adaptable: The ability to change your financial strategies in response to new situations helps you maintain balance, both emotionally and financially.

Lean on Your Network: Whether it’s our relationship, or supportive family and friends, having a solid network can help you weather financial storms.

Plan for the Unexpected: Prepare for financial threats and stressors with a robust safety net and a well-thought-out financial plan.

Mindful Management: Taking care of your mental and emotional health is as important as taking care of your finances. Emotional well-being helps in making balanced, rational decisions.

Understanding the psychological factors that influence your money personality can offer more than just financial benefits; it can improve your overall well-being. When you recognize how threat, stress, and trauma affect your financial choices, you’re better equipped to make decisions that are aligned with both your financial and life goals.

Understanding the role of culture in your financial journey

You’re looking for more than a number-cruncher when seeking integrated financial planning services. This is because you’re essentially seeking a partner in a very critical area of your life—your financial future. And much like any other meaningful relationship, the foundation isn’t just built on expertise but also on mutual values and shared culture. 

Simon Sinek once said, ‘A culture is strong when people work with each other for each other. A culture is weak when people work against each other for themselves.’

You might wonder, ‘What does culture have to do with my financial planning journey?’

The answer is quite simple: culture reflects how we approach financial planning, relationships, and even conflict resolution. It’s not just ‘the way we do things around there’ but also ‘what happens when no one else is around.’ 

A financial adviser with a strong culture puts your interests at the forefront, even when no one is watching.

Why Culture Matters to Your Financial Planning

Guided Decision-making: Financial planning isn’t just about returns; it’s about achieving your life goals in a manner that resonates with your values. A planner or adviser with core values aligned with yours makes the decision-making process simpler and more harmonious.

Long-term Relationships: You want a financial adviser who isn’t just a transactional figure but someone you can grow with. Core values can make or break long-term relationships, and those who share your values will likely better understand your evolving needs.

Client Compatibility: Just like how a firm seeks clients who fit their culture, you should seek a firm whose culture you fit into. Financial planning is a two-way street; being on the same wavelength with your adviser makes the journey smoother.

Higher Quality Service: A financial planning firm with a strong culture is more likely to have a team that goes above and beyond for its clients. It means their advisory service will be as focused on people as it is on portfolios.

Trust and Stability: In a firm where the culture is strong, advisers work with each other for the greater good of the client. This sense of stability and trustworthiness adds another layer of reliability to your financial plans.

So, how can you determine a firm’s culture before becoming a client? Pay attention to their communication style, how they handle challenges, and the kind of questions they ask you. Are they merely transactional or genuinely invested in understanding your life goals? Do they discuss their core values and how those align with their services?

Remember, culture isn’t a tagline on a website or a poster on the wall; it’s lived every day. Beyond the performance metrics and testimonials, consider the culture. Because at the end of the day, your financial future doesn’t solely depend on market performance but also on a shared vision and set of values that guide how that performance is achieved.

Rewiring your financial mindset (I)

The Psychology of Financial Planning

Have you ever found yourself spiralling down a mental rabbit hole, arriving at a worrying conclusion about your finances without consciously deciding to ponder over it? If so, you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault.

The Power of Thought Patterns 

Humans naturally develop schemas, or cognitive frameworks, to understand and interpret the world around us. These mental models simplify complex situations, guiding us through decision-making processes, like those involving our finances. However, these schemas can also be misleading, distorting reality, and pushing us towards unnecessary stress and poor financial choices.

Cognitive Distortions and Finance

In the realm of psychology, the term “cognitive distortions” refers to irrational or biased ways of thinking that can skew our understanding of situations and, consequently, influence our actions. For example, one prevalent cognitive distortion is magnifying or minimising an event’s significance. In financial terms, this could mean blowing a small spending mistake out of proportion or underestimating the impact of regularly eating out on your long-term savings.

Here’s the silver lining: cognitive restructuring techniques can help you reframe these distortions and pave the way for a healthier financial life. Originating from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, this approach involves identifying, challenging, and altering misleading thought patterns. In a financial context, cognitive restructuring could help you develop a more constructive outlook towards investing, saving, and spending.

Awareness is the First Step

The initial and perhaps most challenging step is recognising these distortions. It’s like tuning into a faint radio frequency amidst static noise: not easy but entirely possible. To do so, you must be aware of your emotional or behavioural triggers, which often flag the presence of a cognitive distortion.

For instance:

  • Do you feel a surge of anxiety when contemplating retirement?
  • Do small discussions about budgeting with your partner always escalate into significant arguments?
  • Are you prone to procrastination, particularly when it comes to making major financial decisions?
  • Does the idea of spending a weekend without any plans trigger feelings of financial inadequacy?

If you identify with any of these scenarios, consider them your “alarm” situations. They serve as indicators of underlying thought patterns that could be detrimental to both your emotional well-being and your financial health.

Understanding and altering your thought patterns is a skill, one that can be honed with time and practice. As you improve this skill, you’ll find it easier to challenge your negative thoughts about money and make decisions that are better aligned with your financial goals and values.

Remember, the relationship between your thoughts and your financial circumstances is a two-way street. Just as faulty thinking can lead to financial missteps, wise financial planning can improve your overall sense of well-being and life satisfaction. By making an active effort to rewire your financial mindset, you’re not just ensuring a stable future but also contributing to a healthier, happier you.

And the enduring lesson? Awareness and change begin in the mind. Equip yourself with a clearer perspective, and you’ll find navigating the complex world of personal finance a more rewarding journey.

Entertained or educated?

Our lives are saturated with information, so it’s important to scrutinise what we consume, especially when it comes to financial news and our use of social media. The core objective of social media isn’t necessarily to make you a more informed member of society. Instead, it’s driven by the motive to capture your attention, to keep you engaged, and to sell advertising space. Indeed, our most valuable asset is our attention!

Why is this so pivotal to understand? Because the media operates on a lifeline of viewership. More viewers mean more advertising dollars, which subsequently leads to a greater push for sensational headlines and urgent news flashes. This whirlwind of drama creates an atmosphere where everything seems critical, urgent, and actionable. But is it?

An insider in the industry once admitted that their aim wasn’t public service, but entertainment for those who wish to feel smart.  (you can read that blog here: https://www.experimental-history.com/p/reading-the-news-is-the-new-smoking)

If the media prioritised the long-term perspective (essential for fruitful investments and a worry-free retirement), they would risk losing their audience to more sensational outlets.

Now, let’s examine this misalignment of interests with a simple historical context. Over the past several decades, the S&P 500 has seen nearly a hundred-fold increase. What did investors need to do to benefit from this rise? Essentially, just stay invested. Yet, during this journey, they had to weather numerous recessions, bear markets, and other declines, each accompanied by apocalyptic headlines.

The renowned investor Howard Marks sums up the psychological challenge of staying invested beautifully. Maintaining your position in a promising investment over a long period requires resilience. There are many distractions—news, emotions, and the allure of new opportunities—that can tempt even the most steadfast investor.

Warren Buffett, another giant in the investment world, often speaks about the emotional discipline needed in investing. Think of your long-term financial plan as a garden. It takes time, patience, and careful tending. Sure, there will be weeds—like sensational headlines, market rumours, and even personal doubts—that sprout up and threaten your growth.

Our collective aim is to offer you the tools and knowledge you need to make informed decisions, empowering you to realise a financially stable and fulfilling retirement. Unlike the media, which often thrives on disruption and spectacle, our interests align with yours.

In this journey, it’s essential to filter out the noise and focus on the pillars of a strong financial life. Keep your eyes on the road ahead, not the distracting billboards along the way.

Finding the truth in a “My Truth” world

The lines between personal beliefs and universal truths often blur, and the role of a financial planner becomes ever more critical. As we wade through the waters of modern finance, it’s easy to be swayed by popular opinion or individualised perceptions of reality. 

But what’s vital is ensuring that our decisions are made based on grounded truths, not fleeting trends.

It’s common to encounter individuals who portray their financial situation in overly optimistic terms, perhaps even viewing them through rose-tinted glasses. Rather than being swayed by these narratives, it’s vital to anchor discussions in genuine authenticity. 

Pursuing the truth in financial matters is not about confrontation but about honesty.

Begin with a personal truth: We often view our lives through the lens of our experiences, sometimes colouring our financial outlook with optimism or trepidation. Just as we wouldn’t ignore a leaking sink in our homes, hoping it would fix itself, we shouldn’t let unchecked beliefs guide our financial decisions. Addressing the small, often overlooked perceptions today can prevent significant complications in the future. In financial planning, it’s essential to distinguish between hopeful wishes and grounded truths.

Personal truth will always blend personal introspection and an ever-evolving understanding of the world around us. When we turn inward, we see the myriad choices, big and small, that have brought us to where we are. As we broaden our gaze, lifting it from the pages of our stories, we find that truth isn’t solitary. Our lives, diverse and interconnected, are interwoven with shared realities and collective dreams. Within the vast tapestry of society, we each take on indispensable roles — as guardians, mentors, providers, and so much more within our families and communities.

And here’s where the universal truth emerges: Every financial decision, seemingly insignificant or monumental, leaves an indelible mark. It’s not just the tangible wealth that speaks volumes but the moments it facilitates — the laughter-filled family vacations, the cherished gifts passed down generations, the comforting safety nets, and the heartfelt gestures that touch lives. Our monetary choices are, in essence, the curators of experiences, memories, and values.

At its core, lifestyle financial planning is about ensuring that life, love, and legacy intertwine seamlessly.

Honesty becomes the cornerstone of our journey together. A clear canvas is essential for any artist to create a masterpiece. Similarly, transparent and honest conversations pave the way for a holistic and effective financial plan. The path to a secure and enriching future becomes lucid by seeking to be as genuine as possible and understanding personal needs, aspirations, and fears.

Integrated financial planning is not just a transaction or strategy; it’s a commitment. A commitment to personal truths, to universal truths, and to unwavering honesty. By embracing these elements and collaborating closely, we don’t just plan for a prosperous future; we craft a narrative that resonates with truth, purpose and fulfilment.

Time to think about money – Part 4

You know how sometimes we tend to procrastinate when it comes to our finances? Yeah, we’ve all been there. Procrastination can be a major roadblock to achieving our financial goals. But did you know that Nancy Kline’s Time to Think methodology can help us overcome that? It’s all about creating a thinking environment that encourages us to take action and move closer to our objectives.

The idea behind a thinking environment is to create a space where we feel supported, respected, and free to express our thoughts and ideas. When we have this kind of environment, it’s so much easier to confront the financial tasks we’ve been putting off. 

Instead of avoiding those money conversations or delaying important decisions, we can face them head-on, knowing that we have the right atmosphere to think things through and make progress.

One of the reasons we tend to procrastinate is that we might feel overwhelmed or unsure about how to tackle a financial issue. But we can break down those barriers with a thinking environment that promotes open communication and active listening. We can ask questions, share our concerns, and work together to find solutions. As a result, we become more confident in handling financial matters and are more likely to take action.

Another great thing about a thinking environment is that it helps us stay focused and accountable. It’s easy to get distracted by everyday life and lose sight of our financial goals. But when we prioritise creating time to think and plan, we’re more likely to stay on track and follow through on our commitments.

This, in turn, helps us make steady progress toward our objectives.

Remember that a thinking environment can also be a source of inspiration and motivation. When surrounded by an atmosphere of encouragement and support, we’re more likely to come up with creative solutions to financial challenges and stay motivated to achieve our goals.

Here are some ways in which applying Kline’s methodology can help you tackle financial procrastination:

Set Aside Dedicated Thinking Time: Schedule regular periods of uninterrupted time to think about your financial goals, plans, and challenges. This focused thinking time can help you clarify your priorities and develop actionable steps to move forward.

Remove Distractions: Create a quiet, comfortable space for your financial thinking sessions. Eliminate distractions like electronic devices or noisy environments to encourage deep reflection and focused problem-solving.

Break Down Goals into Smaller Tasks: Large financial goals can feel overwhelming and lead to procrastination. Breaking them into smaller, manageable tasks can make them feel more achievable and motivate you to act.

Reflect on Your Progress: Regularly assess your progress toward your financial goals and celebrate your achievements. This can help maintain momentum and inspire you to continue working toward your objectives.

So, if you find yourself procrastinating regarding your finances, consider trying Nancy Kline’s Time to Think methodology. By creating a thinking environment that fosters open communication, support, and focus, you can overcome procrastination and make meaningful progress toward your financial goals. 

And who knows? You might find that managing your money becomes a more enjoyable and fulfilling experience!

More than just checking the boxes

The Real Purpose Behind Financial Planning

When we talk about financial planning, what springs to mind? For many, it might conjure up images of spreadsheets, complex investment strategies, or even a necessary evil to ensure we’re being “responsible.” However, approaching financial planning as merely a task to check off our to-do list may be selling the process—and ourselves—short.

Financial planning isn’t simply about being responsible or adulting in the conventional sense. Sure, having a plan in place can offer peace of mind, but it’s not just about avoiding future financial pitfalls. At its core, financial planning is about aligning our financial resources with our most deeply held values, dreams, and life goals.

Consider this: Why do we work so hard and save money? Is it merely to say we’ve done it, to get that metaphorical pat on the back for being a ‘good’ and ‘responsible’ adult? Or is it to ensure that our children get a quality education, that we can enjoy experiences that enrich our lives, or that we can leave a lasting legacy for the next generation or a cause close to our hearts?

When we take the time to delve into our “why”—our true purpose for wanting financial security—it becomes clear that financial planning is not merely about crunching numbers, it’s about envisioning the future we want for ourselves and our loved ones, crafting a financial roadmap and then finding someone to hold us accountable to getting there.

Financial planning connected to purpose goes beyond ensuring we have enough for retirement or rainy days. It’s about understanding our personal values, what drives us, and what we want our legacy to be. For some, this might mean setting up a trust fund for their grandchildren. For others, it could be supporting a cherished charitable cause or creating a scholarship for deserving students.

We live in an age where authenticity and purpose are paramount. It’s no longer enough to go through the motions simply. We seek meaning in every action, every decision, and every plan. So, when it comes to our finances, shouldn’t we be seeking that same depth of purpose?

So, the next time you sit down to review or create your financial plan, take a moment to reflect. Look beyond the spreadsheets and numbers. Dive deep into your passions, your dreams, and your values. By connecting your financial strategy with your life’s purpose, you’re not just being responsible—you’re curating a vision for your future anchored in meaning and legacy.

The rising currency of human skills

Information is at our fingertips, and artificial intelligence continually surpasses human capabilities in specific tasks; the landscape of valuable skills is evolving. 

According to Dr Susan David, while technical know-how remains crucial, it’s quickly becoming commoditised. As a result, the pendulum is swinging towards the intrinsic value of distinctly human skills, finding and forging moments that connect us – one human to another.

Think about it. Two decades ago, coding or data analytics knowledge might have been a rare and coveted asset. Today, there are countless online resources, courses, and platforms that can turn anyone into a proficient coder or data analyst. But while machines can execute commands, analyse vast datasets, or even create art, they can’t truly understand or replicate human emotions and psychological nuances—at least not in the genuine, empathetic way humans do.

Through all the noise and chaos, it’s our shared human moments that resonate the loudest.

The undeniable power of human connection lies between the marvels of technology and the intricacies of integrated financial planning. Financial decisions, after all, are deeply personal, often tied to our dreams, fears, and life stories. It’s in understanding these narratives that we can genuinely tailor strategies to individual needs. By marrying technical expertise with deeper emotional insight, integrated financial planning transforms from a purely transactional exercise to a journey of understanding, trust, and shared ambition.

With this in mind, what human skills promise to be the gold standard of the future?

  1. Emotional Agility

In a volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous world, navigating our emotions (being agile in our responses and understanding the underlying reasons for our feelings)  becomes paramount. Emotional agility is about being anchored amidst life’s storms, allowing us to respond to challenges with clarity and intention.

  1. Perspective-Taking

This is more than just seeing things from another’s viewpoint. It involves deeply understanding and appreciating different backgrounds, experiences and thought processes. This skill will be crucial for collaboration and innovation as workplaces become more diverse.

  1. Curiosity

This isn’t about the technical “how-to” questions but the “why” and “what if” inquiries that drive innovation. It’s the kind of curiosity that inspires us to look beyond the obvious, challenge norms, and seek more profound understanding.

  1. Empathy

Machines can recognise faces but can’t authentically “feel” for someone. Empathy allows us to connect, to understand, and to build heartfelt relationships. Empathy can bridge divides and foster true connection in a world where loneliness has been dubbed an epidemic.

  1. Connecting with purpose and values

Purpose drives motivation. It’s what gets us out of bed in the morning and fuels our passion. Machines operate on commands; humans operate on purpose. Connecting with that deeper “why” can inspire teams, drive missions, and propel businesses to new heights.

  1. Letting go to enable learning and evolution

This might be the most challenging. We, as humans, tend to cling to our beliefs, our routines, and our comfort zones. But true growth? It comes from letting go. From acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers and embracing the continuous journey of learning.

As Dr. David aptly points out, these human skills will be the driving forces behind well-being, economic mobility, and workplace success in the years to come. It’s a refreshing reminder, isn’t it?

In a world where technology seems to dominate every conversation, our inherent human traits will determine our trajectory. Because while algorithms and codes might power machines, emotions, values, and connections truly power us.

Time to think about money – Part 3

Trust is a crucial component of any successful financial relationship. Trust plays a huge role in making things work, whether it’s with your spouse, financial advisor, or business partner. And one way to build that trust is through the art of listening, which is a central idea in Nancy Kline’s Time to Think methodology.

As mentioned in a recent blog, Nancy Kline is an American-born author, business consultant, and personal development coach. She is best known for her Time to Think approach, which helps us understand the importance of creating an environment that promotes independent thinking, deep reflection, and transformative change. Kline’s work is primarily based on listening with full attention and fostering an environment in which people feel heard, valued, and respected, and trust is built.

This is solid ground for prudent financial planning!

Some of her most notable books include “Time to Think: Listening to Ignite the Human Mind” and “More Time to Think: The Power of Independent Thinking.” Nancy Kline has worked with a diverse range of clients, including businesses, non-profits, educational institutions, and individuals all needing; her books provide us with discerning direction on how to create a thinking environment, the benefits of doing so, and how this approach can improve personal and professional relationships.

Here are some ways in which practising attentive listening can strengthen trust in your financial relationships:

Demonstrating Empathy: When you listen attentively to others’ financial concerns and experiences, you convey empathy and understanding. This fosters a deeper emotional connection and reinforces the trust between you and your financial partner.

Identifying Misunderstandings: By actively listening, you can quickly identify and address misunderstandings or miscommunications in financial discussions. This helps prevent minor issues from escalating into more significant problems and keeps your financial relationships healthy.

Encouraging Openness: When you listen without judgment or interruption, you create a safe space for open, honest financial conversations. This enables your financial partner to share their thoughts, concerns, and ideas more freely, leading to better collaboration and decision-making.

Facilitating Better Decision-Making: Attentive listening allows you to understand your financial partner’s perspective, needs, and goals more clearly. This deeper understanding enables you to make more informed decisions, strengthening trust in the process.

We know that when we genuinely listen to someone without interrupting or judging them, we create an environment where they feel valued and respected. This helps everyone involved in the conversation feel more comfortable and open, leading to a better understanding of each other’s perspectives, concerns, and aspirations.

However, in these financial conversations, it’s easy to get caught up in our thoughts or jump in with a solution before the other person has even finished speaking. Practising active listening and giving the person speaking our full, undivided attention can make all the difference in the world.

Building trust through listening is a win-win situation. Not only do we foster stronger financial relationships, but we also pave the way for better decision-making, collaboration, and communication. And in the end, that will help us achieve our financial goals and create a more secure financial future for ourselves and our loved ones.

So, next time you’re having a money conversation, take a moment to remember Nancy Kline’s Time to Think methodology. Embrace the art of listening, and see how it can transform your financial relationships and decisions for the better.

Creating a new financial narrative

In a few recent blogs, we’ve considered our money stories and how we can not only route out false narratives but work towards creating new financial stories.

After exploring the emotional aspects of your financial health and understanding your money story, it’s time to create a new financial narrative that fosters a healthy money mindset. By actively working on your relationship with money and adopting positive habits, you can cultivate an empowering and emotionally balanced approach to your finances.

1. Mindful Spending: Begin by practising mindful spending, which involves being fully aware of your financial decisions and their consequences. Before making a purchase, ask yourself if it aligns with your values and long-term goals. By being intentional about your spending, you can create a healthier emotional connection with money and make choices that better serve your overall financial well-being.

2. Gratitude and Abundance: Cultivating a mindset of gratitude and abundance can have a transformative impact on your financial life. Focus on the blessings you already have and appreciate the value they bring to your life. This shift in perspective can help you break free from scarcity-driven choices and embrace a more positive outlook on your finances.

3. Setting Realistic Financial Goals: Develop a set of achievable financial goals that align with your values and priorities. By setting realistic targets, you can work towards your financial aspirations with a sense of purpose and motivation. Remember to celebrate small milestones along the way, as this can help reinforce positive behaviours and maintain your momentum.

4. Seeking Support and Education: Building a healthy money mindset often involves seeking support and education from reliable sources. This can include reading books, attending workshops, or working more closely with our team. Surround yourself with people who inspire and encourage your financial growth, and be open to learning from their experiences and insights.

5. Establishing Healthy Money Habits: Make a conscious effort to develop healthy money habits that support your new financial narrative. This can include creating and sticking to a budget, setting aside an emergency fund, and consistently saving for your long-term goals. As you implement these habits, be patient with yourself – change takes time and effort!

6. Embracing Financial Self-Care: Just as you would for your physical and mental well-being, it’s crucial to practice financial self-care. This involves regularly checking in with your finances, addressing any concerns or challenges, and celebrating your progress. By taking care of your financial health, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship with money.

7. Practicing Forgiveness and Compassion: Lastly, remember to extend forgiveness and compassion towards yourself as you embark on this journey of financial transformation. We all make mistakes and have areas where we can grow. Embrace your financial journey with kindness and self-compassion, knowing that you are continuously evolving and learning.

Creating a new financial narrative requires intention, effort, and patience. As you work towards embracing a healthy money mindset, remember that it’s a journey, not a destination. By actively engaging with your finances and adopting empowering beliefs and habits, you can forge a new financial path that aligns with your values, goals, and aspirations.