Financial planning, like therapy or coaching, isn’t just about solving a problem. It’s about holding a safe space where real change can happen. That space might be a spreadsheet, a conversation, or a long-term plan, but for the work to go deep and stick, it must feel grounded, steady, and secure.

As clinical psychologist Jonathan Shedler once said, “The paradox of psychotherapy is that the more secure the boundaries, the more freedom there is within them, and the deeper the work can become.” This principle doesn’t only apply to therapy rooms; it applies to financial planning too.

Whether you’re supporting someone through a job transition, a difficult divorce, or the anxiety of an uncertain economy, the truth is: most people don’t just need a financial plan, they need a safe frame in which to hold their decisions. They need to know that they’re supported, that the process won’t push them past what they can handle, and that there’s room for reflection before reaction.

Life transitions often stir up vulnerability, and even though we might be talking about investments or debt consolidation, there’s always something deeper humming beneath the surface. That’s why developing your financial and emotional safety plan is helpful. A personalised resource you can use when things feel overwhelming.

Here are a few ways we can help you build that together:

1. Recognise early signs of overwhelm.

Learn to identify the signs that things are getting too much, be it sleepless nights, doom-scrolling financial news, or snapping at loved ones. These moments don’t mean you’re failing; they simply indicate that support is needed.

2. Identify grounding strategies.

Instead of reaching for impulsive solutions (like pulling out of the market or draining savings), explore healthier responses. That might mean taking a walk, calling a trusted person, or reviewing your original financial plan and why it mattered.

3. Create a financial support network.

Create a list of those you can contact, whether that’s a financial planner, therapist, accountability partner, or even a friend who “gets it.” Emotional support is part of financial resilience.

4. List accessible resources.

Compile a small toolkit, which could include articles you’ve read, crisis numbers, online budgeting apps, or previous plans you’ve worked on. Familiar resources provide clarity in chaotic moments.

5. Discuss environment.

What triggers your unhealthy money habits? Is it late-night online shopping? Is it avoiding post or email? We can work together to help you create practical changes in your environment to support better behaviours.

6. Write it all down.

Don’t just talk about the plan, put it on paper. Use calm, simple language. A one-pager that can be kept on the fridge or saved in your phone is far more helpful than a 12-tab spreadsheet when emotions are running high.

Planning isn’t just about preparation—it’s about protection

When clients know they have a plan to fall back on, they’re more likely to stay on track. And when they feel emotionally safe, they’re more open to exploring the real, sometimes uncomfortable, stories they hold about money.

Because it’s not just the plan that changes lives; it’s how well we can engage with it.

Real financial planning goes far beyond spreadsheets, securities and stocks. It’s about connecting money to life. And sometimes, the most important questions aren’t just “Can we afford it?”, but, “Is this the right decision for our lives right now?”

In a recent conversation with clients, a seemingly simple question was raised: “Can we afford to upgrade to a larger home?” On paper, with stable incomes and good credit, the answer was yes. But digging deeper revealed that affordability and alignment are not the same thing.

If this were you, we could say that you can make the numbers work, but is this truly what you want to do, knowing what this means for the rest of your financial life?

When we look beyond affordability and apply financial modelling, several important factors might come to light:

• Hidden interest costs: Most of the new monthly bond repayments would go towards interest rather than equity in the early years.
• High upfront expenses: Transfer duties and transaction fees could add up to a substantial sunk cost.
• Asset imbalance: A growing portion of your wealth will be tied up in property, rather than in accessible, income-producing investments.
• Bonus dependency: Past spending habits could reveal patterns that show lifestyle inflation has crept in, with bonuses or other windfalls being used to “catch up” rather than build financial stability.

These insights help us pause and reflect, expanding the conversation beyond the paperwork. We can more easily consider alternative conversations around what life could look like if you proceeded with the purchase, stayed put and invested the difference, or restructured your current portfolio. The long-term implications for retirement, financial freedom, and stress levels are also then all brought into focus.

Reframing the question

With the couple mentioned above, as the conversation unfolded, they realised the initial question wasn’t just about buying a new home. It was about how they wanted to live. With this insight, they were able to consider improving their current space, renting instead of buying, and exploring properties that could provide additional income.

These discussions led to a more creative and values-based conversation: What kind of lifestyle are we trying to build? What trade-offs are we willing to make?

This is a deeply valuable process as it’s not just financial, but personal. Again, financial planning is not just about answering, “Can I afford this?” It’s about aligning today’s choices with tomorrow’s vision. It’s about building a strategy that balances wants and needs, today and tomorrow, logic and emotion.

When financial planning focuses on more than just money, when it helps us gain clarity on our values, priorities, and long-term aspirations, it becomes one of the most powerful tools for building a life that feels both meaningful and secure.

HOW THEY INFLUENCE YOUR FINANCIAL PLANNING

Have you ever bought something not because you really needed it, but because everyone else seemed to have it? Maybe it was the latest smartphone, a fancy car, or even an expensive dinner at the trendiest new restaurant. If so, you’re not alone.

The truth is, our financial decisions are rarely made in isolation. They’re deeply influenced by the world around us—whether we realise it or not.

One of the most powerful social forces at play is social comparison. It’s human nature to measure our progress against that of others. But in the realm of money, comparison can be a thief of joy. When you scroll through social media or attend gatherings where friends discuss their recent purchases or lavish holidays, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling “behind.” The result? Overspending or making financial decisions that are more about keeping up appearances than fulfilling personal goals.

Then there’s peer pressure. It’s not just for teenagers; it’s alive and well in adulthood!

Think about the pressure to contribute to every group gift, attend every expensive social event, or even invest in a “hot” financial opportunity simply because someone you trust is doing it. The danger here is that we often prioritise other people’s financial narratives over our own, neglecting what truly matters to us.

Adding fuel to the fire is marketing and advertising. It’s no secret that marketing is designed to manipulate our desires. But what’s fascinating is how effectively it can tap into our insecurities, our aspirations, and even our social status. Ever noticed how luxury brands position their products as symbols of success? Or how investment firms highlight stories of early retirement, implying that you, too, could achieve this if you just invested with them?

The constant bombardment of messages telling us what we should want, who we should be, and how we should spend our money can have a profound impact on our financial behaviour. What’s more, the financial industry itself isn’t immune to these influences. Advisors, articles, and experts can unintentionally reinforce these social and environmental pressures.

But here’s the good news: awareness is the first step toward freedom. When we begin to identify how social comparison, peer pressure, and marketing influence our decisions, we can start making more intentional choices.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, you can shift the focus to your own goals. Instead of succumbing to peer pressure, you can build financial boundaries that protect your long-term wellbeing. And, instead of letting marketing dictate your desires, you can approach financial decisions from a place of clarity and alignment with your values.

Financial planning isn’t just about growing your wealth—it’s about reclaiming control over your financial narrative. By recognising these social and environmental influences, you can make decisions that truly serve you, not just the world around you.

HOW THEY INFLUENCE YOUR FINANCIAL PLANNING

Have you ever made a financial decision you regretted, only to look back and wonder what on earth you were thinking? Maybe you held onto a losing investment for far too long or refused to explore a new financial opportunity because it just didn’t feel right. The truth is that our brains are wired to simplify complex decisions through shortcuts known as heuristics.

While helpful in day-to-day life, these shortcuts can also lead us astray when it comes to managing our money.

One of the most common mental traps is confirmation bias. This is when we seek out information that validates our existing beliefs while conveniently ignoring anything that contradicts them. If you’ve already decided that property is the safest investment, you’re likely to latch onto articles and conversations that support that viewpoint, while dismissing evidence suggesting otherwise.

The problem? Your financial world becomes an echo chamber, reinforcing beliefs that may no longer be serving your best interests.

Then there’s loss aversion—a cognitive bias where the pain of losing is psychologically more powerful than the pleasure of gaining. Nobel laureates Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky demonstrated that losses are felt twice as strongly as equivalent gains. This bias often leads to overly cautious behaviour, such as avoiding necessary financial risks or panic-selling investments at the worst possible time.

Think about the investor who sells off stocks during a market downturn out of sheer fear, missing out on the inevitable recovery. Or the person who avoids pursuing a better job because the risk of change feels too daunting.

Anchoring bias is another tricky one. This is when we rely too heavily on the first piece of information we encounter—or any information that feels particularly salient. For example, if you were told that a particular stock was worth $100 a share, you might use that figure as a benchmark, even if the stock’s value has drastically changed. Or perhaps you’ve been anchored by what your parents taught you about money, even if those lessons are outdated or irrelevant to your current life situation.

So, how do we overcome these biases and move toward healthier financial habits?

The first step is awareness. If you know that your brain is wired to prefer consistency over change, security over risk, and the familiar over the unknown, you can begin to challenge those biases with intentionality. Instead of simply asking, “What do I believe about money?” ask, “Why do I believe what I believe about money?”

Next, it’s about building frameworks that acknowledge these biases while striving for objectivity. Financial planning isn’t just about number-crunching—it’s about questioning assumptions and creating systems that reduce the influence of cognitive biases on your financial decisions.

When you work with a financial planner, you’re not just getting financial advice; you’re gaining a partner who can help you identify and work through these biases. A good financial plan won’t eliminate your biases, but it will help you make decisions that are aligned with your values and long-term goals, rather than short-term emotional responses.

Because the truth is, we all have biases. But the better we understand them, the more empowered we become to make thoughtful, informed financial choices.

HOW THEY INFLUENCE YOUR FINANCIAL PLANNING

Money may be a tool, but how we use that tool is often driven by emotions, beliefs, and life experiences far more than logic and spreadsheets. Why do some people save meticulously while others can’t seem to keep a dollar, pound, or rand in their pocket? Why do some avoid financial planning altogether while others obsess over every transaction?

It all comes down to how we relate to money on a psychological and emotional level.

Let’s start with money mindset. This is the collection of beliefs and attitudes we hold about money, usually shaped in childhood. If you grew up hearing phrases like “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “we can’t afford that,” those messages may have conditioned you to see money as something scarce, difficult to earn, or easily lost.

Conversely, if wealth was celebrated as the ultimate measure of success, you might have internalised the belief that more is always better, which can drive a constant chase for accumulation.

But our mindsets alone don’t determine our behaviours. Financial stress and anxiety play a significant role, often overriding logic and driving us toward decisions rooted in fear, avoidance, or impulsivity. If you feel anxious about your financial future, you might over-save to the point of not allowing yourself to enjoy the wealth you’ve built.

Or, on the flip side, you might avoid looking at your financial situation altogether, hoping it will somehow resolve itself if left alone. Financial anxiety is powerful because it taps into one of our most primal fears: survival. And when our survival feels threatened, rational thinking goes out the window.

Then there’s emotional spending—the act of using money to soothe or avoid emotional discomfort. Maybe it’s shopping to cope with stress, buying lavish gifts to earn approval, or splurging on experiences to distract from deeper emotional pain. Emotional spending is particularly tricky because it often provides temporary relief, making it feel like a solution when, in reality, it’s just a Band-Aid.

What’s fascinating is how these three aspects can interplay. For instance, a scarcity mindset may drive financial anxiety, which then leads to emotional spending as a coping mechanism. Alternatively, someone driven by the need to accumulate wealth as a measure of success may feel constant financial stress, pushing them to overwork or take excessive risks.

Recognising how your mindset, stress, and emotions are influencing your financial decisions is the first step toward change. It’s not about trying to eliminate emotions from your financial planning—it’s about understanding them and allowing them to inform your decisions in a healthy way.

What does this mean for financial planning? It means acknowledging that real financial freedom isn’t just about the numbers; it’s about understanding and addressing the emotions and beliefs behind those numbers. The most successful financial plans are those that take into account not just your resources, but your relationship with those resources.

After all, financial wellness isn’t just about accumulation; it’s about alignment. Aligning your money mindset with your values, recognising the emotional triggers that drive impulsive decisions, and finding healthy ways to address financial stress and anxiety.

Procrastination gets a bad rap. It’s often labelled as laziness, lack of discipline, or avoidance. But what if there’s more to it? What if procrastination isn’t just resistance, but information?

We’ve all done it—stared at a task, knowing it needs to be done, but finding every possible reason to delay. Maybe it’s reviewing your finances, having that long-overdue conversation, or finally tackling an investment decision. Instead of moving forward, we sit in limbo, caught between intention and action.

Sharon Moller, a behavioural finance specialist and professional coach, sees procrastination not as a flaw but as a sign—one that offers us a deeper understanding of ourselves. And when we stop seeing it as a failure and start treating it as feedback, we can uncover what’s really holding us back.

Instead of pushing through procrastination with sheer willpower, it helps to ask: “Why am I hesitating?” Often, avoidance isn’t about the task itself, it’s about what the task represents.

Take financial planning, for example. Many people put off reviewing their savings, updating their estate plans, or even booking an appointment with a financial planner. But is it really about the numbers? Or is it the fear of confronting difficult truths; uncertainty about the future, regret over past decisions, or anxiety about getting it ‘wrong’?

Avoidance is rarely random. If we listen closely, it often reveals our underlying concerns.

Our current culture glorifies productivity, the common advice for procrastination is simple: just do it (thank you, Nike!). But if starting was that easy, we wouldn’t be stuck in the first place. The reality is, forcing action before we’re ready can actually create more resistance.

Think about financial decisions: investments made out of panic, budgeting done out of guilt, or major career shifts taken without clarity. These rushed actions often lead to regret, rather than progress. Instead of forcing movement, we need to create readiness.

Here’s a paradox: sometimes, the only way to move forward is to stop pushing and start allowing. In finance and in life, readiness doesn’t come from pressure, it comes from surrender.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means surrendering to the process, trusting that action will come naturally when we’re aligned with what we truly need. When we let go of the guilt and judgment around our procrastination, we give ourselves the space to move forward in a way that actually sticks.

Procrastination and our Financial Planning
This concept is just as true in financial planning as it is in personal growth. The best financial plans aren’t built under duress. They’re built from a place of thoughtful, informed decision-making. The most successful investors aren’t the ones who react impulsively but the ones who prepare steadily over time.

So, the next time you catch yourself hesitating, pause. Instead of fighting the procrastination, listen to it.

Is it fear? Is it uncertainty? Is it a lack of clarity?

Your hesitation might just be telling you what you need in order to move forward. The question is: will you be ready to hear it?

The purpose of ego is security.
The nature of ego is insecurity.
The destiny of ego is surrender.

(Credit: @findingawareness on Instagram)

It’s an interesting paradox, isn’t it? The very thing we rely on to create a sense of safety, our ego, is inherently restless, always scanning for threats, always seeking more.

Perhaps this tension is most evident in how we interact with money.

Why we seek financial security
At its core, financial planning is about security. We save for a rainy day, invest for the future, and insure against the unknown, all in pursuit of a feeling that we are safe. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

In fact, it’s wise to build financial buffers, plan for uncertainty, and take action to protect our future.

But the paradox of the ego is that no amount of money will ever truly feel like enough. Because the ego’s nature is insecurity. It will always ask: What if something goes wrong? What if I lose it? What if I could have more?

The emotional side of money
This is why some of us struggle to spend money, even when we have more than enough. It’s why others keep chasing higher earnings, bigger portfolios, and endless upgrades, believing that the next milestone will bring peace. It’s why financial success doesn’t always translate to happiness because the ego, left unchecked, will always move the goalposts.

Behavioural finance teaches us that money isn’t just about logic; it’s about psychology. It’s about understanding why we make the choices we do, even when they don’t always make rational sense.

Why do some people hoard wealth and others spend recklessly? Why do we let past financial mistakes define our sense of worth? Why do we compare our financial progress to others, even when we know it doesn’t lead to fulfillment?

Because the ego craves control. And money is the ultimate symbol of control.

Surrendering the illusion of control
But here’s the truth: security isn’t found in a bank balance; it’s found in our relationship with money.

Financial planning isn’t about feeding the ego’s hunger for certainty. It’s about learning to manage resources wisely while recognising that real peace comes from acceptance, not accumulation.

This doesn’t mean we stop saving, investing, or planning. It means we do so with awareness. With clarity. With the understanding that money is a tool, not an identity.

At some point, the ego has to surrender. Not in defeat, but in understanding. That true security isn’t about controlling every outcome. It’s about building a financial life that aligns with what truly matters—freedom, choice, generosity, and balance.

So maybe the question isn’t about how much is enough, but rather how we can redefine security in a way that serves us, rather than controls us.

When we shift from fear-based financial planning to value-based financial planning, we stop making decisions out of insecurity. Instead, we build a financial future that feels both responsible and free.

Also referred to as an “economic reality check,”, lifestyle audits are not just for the rich and famous, and not just useful to the tax collector!

Have you ever looked at your bank statement and wondered, “Where did it all go?”

It’s one of those universal moments—a glance at your spending habits and the creeping realisation that maybe, just maybe, your money isn’t working as hard as it should be for the life you want.

This is where a lifestyle audit comes in. It’s not about spreadsheets or guilt-tripping yourself over a daily smoothie habit. It’s about aligning your financial choices with the life you actually want to live. Because financial planning isn’t just about numbers—it’s about choices, values, and making sure your money is supporting what matters most to you.

Taking stock of the now

The first step in a lifestyle audit isn’t cutting back; it’s gaining clarity. Before you adjust anything, you need to know where your money is going. Are you spending in ways that reflect your priorities, or are there hidden habits quietly draining your resources?

For some, this might mean noticing that an automatic subscription for something they no longer use is still charged to their account. For others, it might mean seeing that a significant chunk of their income is going toward things that have little long-term value. The goal isn’t to shame yourself but to gain awareness, because without awareness, change is impossible.

Redefining what “enough” looks like

We often default to the idea that financial success means accumulating more. More income. More assets. More stuff. But what if success isn’t about more, but about enough? A lifestyle audit helps you reframe your spending regarding what genuinely adds value to your life, not what the world tells you should.

That could mean choosing travel over upgrading your car every three years. It may mean investing in experiences rather than accumulating more possessions. Maybe it’s deciding that financial security gives you a greater sense of peace than a bigger house ever could.

This is where financial planning becomes deeply personal—it’s not about fitting into a prescribed budget, but about shaping your financial world to match your real-life goals.

Once you have clarity, even minor tweaks can create a massive shift in financial well-being. Redirecting just 5–10% of your current spending toward things that bring more meaning (whether that’s saving for a future goal, funding a passion project, or creating more breathing room in your budget) can change how you feel about your money entirely.

A lifestyle audit isn’t about restriction. It’s about realignment. It’s about making sure that when you look at your spending, you see a reflection of the life you actually want, not just a series of transactions that happened by default.

Where financial planning comes in

A good financial plan doesn’t just focus on the numbers; it focuses on you. It helps you identify what’s truly important, align your spending with your values, and ensure that your money serves your goals.

Financial planning isn’t just about investments, tax efficiency, or retirement—it’s about creating a framework where your finances support your life, not the other way around. And that starts with asking the right questions, setting clear priorities, and making sure your financial strategy reflects the life you actually want to build.

If you’ve never taken the time to assess whether your money is aligned with your values, now is the perfect time to start. Our conversation won’t be about restriction, it will be about unlocking possibilities. Let’s redefine what financial success means for you, and build a plan that helps you get there.

If money decisions were purely mathematical, personal finance would be easy. Spend less than you earn, invest in low-cost index funds, and let compound interest do its thing. But as anyone who’s ever faced a financial dilemma knows, money is emotional, unpredictable, and deeply personal.

Morgan Housel, in The Psychology of Money, makes a compelling argument: in finance, it’s often more important to be reasonable than to be rational. In theory, rational decisions are always the best ones. But in reality, the best financial strategy is the one you can stick to—not the one that looks perfect on paper.

Take investing, for example. Rationally, the most efficient strategy might be to hold a high percentage of stocks for decades, never check your portfolio, and ride out every market drop without flinching. But most people don’t work that way. Market downturns can make even the most disciplined investors nervous, leading to panic selling. A reasonable approach might involve a more balanced portfolio—one that offers a smoother ride, even if it’s not the most mathematically optimal.

Or consider saving. Rationally, every extra dollar, pound, or Rand should be maximised for return—perhaps going into the highest-yielding investments. But a reasonable approach might involve keeping a larger-than-necessary emergency fund in cash, simply because it provides peace of mind. This may not be the ‘perfect’ financial move, but for many, the ability to sleep soundly at night outweighs an extra fraction of a percent in returns.

The same goes for spending. Rationally, every purchase should be justified by its utility. But life isn’t lived in spreadsheets. If spending a little extra on travel, hobbies, or a quality mattress makes your life meaningfully better, a reasonable approach might allow for these expenses while still maintaining financial security.

This idea extends beyond investing and saving—it applies to financial planning as a whole. A rational person might try to budget every cent to perfection. A reasonable person understands that life is unpredictable and builds in some flexibility. A rational person might chase the highest possible returns. A reasonable person aims for stability and sustainability, knowing that emotional resilience is just as important as financial efficiency.

Ultimately, financial success isn’t about optimising every single decision—it’s about finding a strategy that works for you. A plan that aligns with your personality, risk tolerance, and lifestyle is far more valuable than one that’s perfect in theory but impossible to follow.

So next time you’re making a financial decision, don’t just ask, “What’s the most rational choice?” Ask, “What’s the reasonable choice that I can confidently sustain?” Because when it comes to long-term financial well-being, consistency beats perfection every time.

It’s a tempting idea, isn’t it? The thought of managing your own finances, crafting your own investment strategy, and making the “right” moves with your money—all without the need for professional guidance. After all, the information is out there. Books, podcasts, courses, and countless personal finance influencers promise that with a little effort, you can be your own financial planner.

But here’s the thing: financial planning isn’t just about what you know. It’s about how you apply it—and, just as importantly, how you navigate your own emotions, biases, and blind spots along the way.

Sure, knowledge is a powerful tool. The road to becoming a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional is paved with rigorous academic training, countless hours of study, and hands-on experience. But even beyond technical expertise, the role of a financial planner extends into areas that are much harder to self-manage: objectivity, habits, discipline, and adaptability.

Think about this: you wouldn’t perform surgery on yourself just because you have access to medical textbooks. Likewise, having financial knowledge doesn’t mean you’re equipped to make the best decisions when it comes to your own wealth. That’s because financial planning is as much about behaviour as it is about numbers.

Consider the challenge of objectivity. When markets dip or economic uncertainty rises, even the most rational individuals can be swayed by emotion—fear, anxiety, impatience. A financial planner provides a crucial buffer between you and your instincts, helping you make decisions that align with long-term goals rather than short-term impulses.

Then there’s the issue of discipline. Knowing what to do is one thing—actually following through, year after year, is another. Saving consistently, adjusting your strategy when life changes, reviewing your financial goals regularly—these are habits, not just facts. And habits are much harder to build and sustain without accountability.

Finally, there’s the complexity of financial planning itself. Tax laws evolve. Investment landscapes shift. The best financial strategy for you five years ago may not be the best one today. A financial planner helps you stay proactive, making adjustments as your life changes—so your financial plan continues working for you, not against you.

Does this mean you can’t manage your finances on your own? Not at all. Many people successfully take a DIY approach. But it comes with trade-offs—significant time commitments, a steep learning curve, and the need to constantly filter out misinformation.

So, the real question isn’t “Can I be my own financial planner?” It’s “Should I?”

And that answer depends on how much time, effort, and emotional energy you’re willing to invest—not just in learning, but in continuously managing and updating your plan.

Because, in the end, financial planning isn’t just about knowledge. It’s about wisdom—the wisdom to know when to seek guidance, when to stay the course, and when to make the adjustments that will keep you on track for years to come.