Context over cash

Imagine this: You’re sitting around a table with friends, and the conversation shifts to money. Someone is buying a new car, another just paid off their house, and someone else is debating whether to invest in the stock market or property. Advice gets tossed around freely—”You should do what I did!”—as if there’s a one-size-fits-all approach to financial success.

But here’s the thing: context is everything.

It’s easy to look at someone else’s financial choices and wonder if you should be doing the same. But what’s missing from these conversations is the deeper context—their income, obligations, risk tolerance, long-term goals, and even their personal values. Two people could have the same amount of money in the bank but vastly different financial realities. A comfortable savings account might mean peace of mind for one person, but for another, it might barely scratch the surface of the security they need.

This is why financial planning isn’t just about the numbers—it’s about understanding the “why” behind them. The best financial decisions come from clarity, not comparison.

When we take advice from people whose lives don’t mirror our own, we risk making choices that don’t serve us. Instead, the focus should be on designing a financial plan that fits your life—your goals, responsibilities, and aspirations.

Consider two individuals with the same salary. One may be single, renting an apartment, and able to invest aggressively. The other may have three children, a bond, and elderly parents who rely on them financially. If the first person says, “You should max out your investment contributions!” it might be great advice for their situation—but not necessarily for the second person. This is why financial planning should always be personalised, taking into account the full picture rather than just surface-level figures.

Context is also what makes financial planning a living, breathing process rather than a set-it-and-forget-it exercise. What made sense for you five years ago might not serve you now. Life changes—careers shift, families grow, priorities evolve. Financial security isn’t just about having cash in the bank; it’s about having a plan that moves with you.

That’s why working with a financial planner who understands your context—rather than following generic advice—is so valuable. We help provide perspective, not just prescriptions. We help you make informed decisions that align with where you are today and where you want to be tomorrow.

So, the next time someone tells you what you should be doing with your money, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Does this fit my life? My circumstances? My future?

Because true financial freedom isn’t about following someone else’s roadmap—it’s about creating your own.

Rewrite your love story with money

Every relationship has a story—a narrative we tell ourselves about how things are, how they’ve been, and what they’ll always be. And while we often think of “love stories” in the context of romance, there’s another relationship in our lives that deserves just as much attention: our relationship with money.

For many of us, our money story has deep roots. It’s shaped by childhood experiences, societal messages, and personal triumphs or struggles. Maybe your story is one of scarcity, where money always seemed out of reach. Or perhaps it’s one of indulgence, where spending became a way to fill emotional gaps. For some, it’s a tale of avoidance, where money is simply too overwhelming to confront.

But here’s the truth: just like any relationship, your story with money isn’t unchangeable.

You can rewrite it. And you deserve to.

Take a moment to reflect. What is the current narrative you hold about money? Does it serve you? Does it bring you peace, or does it keep you trapped in fear, guilt, or frustration? Recognizing this story is the first step toward rewriting it.

A love story rooted in respect and connection

Rewriting your money story doesn’t mean suddenly becoming a financial expert or flipping a switch to unlimited abundance. It’s about fostering a healthier, more balanced relationship—one built on respect, understanding, and connection.

Start by replacing judgment with curiosity. Instead of berating yourself for past financial decisions, ask what you’ve learned from them. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, celebrate what you do. Instead of avoiding conversations about money, lean into them with openness and a willingness to grow.

Money, like any other relationship, thrives when it’s treated with care and intention. That might mean setting boundaries (like a budget) or creating space for regular catch-ups (like reviewing your financial goals). It could mean seeking advice from someone you trust, whether that’s a financial planner, partner, or mentor. Most importantly, it means letting go of shame and stepping into empowerment.

Rewriting your money story doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Like any love story, it’s a journey—a process of understanding, evolving, and building trust. The key is to start.

Imagine what your life would look like if your relationship with money was no longer a source of stress but a foundation of stability and growth. Picture the freedom to align your financial decisions with your values, dreams, and purpose. That’s the new story you can create.

So, how will your next chapter begin? You’re the author of your story with money, and every choice you make is a chance to write something new. Start today—one small change at a time—and create a love story with money that supports the life you truly want.

You can’t steer a parked car

Have you ever tried to steer a parked car? No matter how much you turn the wheel, you’re going nowhere. It’s a simple truth: movement is necessary for progress. Yet, movement without direction can quickly become chaos. The sweet spot lies in finding the balance—moving forward while knowing where you want to go.

In life, as in financial planning, it’s tempting to stay parked. Waiting for the “perfect” moment to act or for all the uncertainties to disappear feels safe. But staying stationary means forfeiting the opportunity to learn, grow, and adjust. On the other hand, jumping into action without clarity can lead to dead ends or costly mistakes.

The key? Begin the journey, even if the destination isn’t crystal clear. Start small—set an achievable goal, create a rough plan, and take that first step. Once you’re in motion, it’s easier to refine your direction. Life is dynamic, and plans should be too. It’s okay if the path changes as long as you’re continually steering toward what matters most.

Financially, this might mean starting to save even if you’re unsure of your retirement target, or paying off a small debt before tackling the larger ones. Personally, it could mean exploring new opportunities or saying yes to a project, even if the final outcome is uncertain. Movement creates momentum, and momentum makes navigating life’s twists and turns possible.

Remember, progress isn’t about perfection. It’s about taking consistent, intentional action. A moving car may not always stay perfectly aligned, but it’s far easier to adjust its course than a car sitting still. Likewise, the direction of your life isn’t set in stone—it’s shaped by every decision, every pivot, and every forward motion.

So, ask yourself: Are you parked, waiting for certainty, or are you moving forward, trusting that you can adjust as you go? Life doesn’t require us to have all the answers before we start.

It simply asks us to begin.

You can’t steer a parked car, but once you’re moving, the possibilities are endless.

Choosing your next step

Do you ever find yourself replaying decisions from your past, wishing you could rewrite the story? It’s easy for our minds to fixate on the paths we didn’t take, the doors that closed, or the moments that feel like they’ve determined everything about our present.

“I missed my chance, and now it’s too late.”

“I shouldn’t have made that decision back then; look where it’s left me.”

“I don’t deserve to move forward because of mistakes I’ve made.”

We often forget that life isn’t a rigid script but a collection of moments, choices, and lessons. When we look back, it’s tempting to connect the dots in a way that feels final—as if every decision we made was written in ink, unchangeable. But in truth, most choices were made with the best knowledge we had at the time. And while it’s easy to dwell on the paths that didn’t pan out, there’s something equally powerful about the paths still open to us.

Maybe some paths are closed—and that’s okay.

It’s true: not every door stays open forever. Some dreams, goals, or ambitions might no longer fit the life you’re living now. And that’s perfectly okay. In fact, it can be freeing to acknowledge this reality.

Author Chris Guillbeau once shared the idea of celebrating closed doors. While society often celebrates stories of people achieving their dreams later in life—like Samuel L. Jackson landing his breakthrough role at 46—it’s important to recognise that not every aspiration follows that trajectory. Some paths do have deadlines. And holding onto an outdated dream can sometimes keep us from fully embracing what’s next.

Maybe you’ve been telling yourself, “One day, I’ll run a marathon,” even though you despise running. Or perhaps you’ve been holding onto the hope of writing a cookbook, even though cooking no longer excites you. Letting go of these paths isn’t a failure—it’s a chance to clear the way for something better aligned with who you are today.

While it’s healthy to accept that some paths might be closed, it’s equally important to remember that many others are wide open. As Bertrand Russell wisely said, “You’re under no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago.” Just because one path is no longer an option doesn’t mean you’ve run out of choices.

In fact, letting go of old goals can create space for new ones. Imagine how much lighter you’d feel if you stopped regretting the past and instead focused on the possibilities ahead. Whether it’s starting a new hobby, taking a class, or shifting your career, the future isn’t set in stone.

It’s shaped by the actions you take today.

Choosing your next step

So, where do you go from here? Start by celebrating the doors that have closed. Each one taught you something, even if it wasn’t the lesson you expected. Then, take a moment to look at the paths still open to you. What excites you? What feels meaningful now—not 10 years ago, but today?

Whatever it is, remember that progress doesn’t require perfection. It just requires one step forward.

Some paths may no longer be an option, but others are waiting for you to take them. The question is: Which one will you choose?

Curious, not critical

When was the last time you gave yourself the grace to be curious? To pause and ask why, instead of immediately leaping to judgment? In a world that moves fast—where we’re bombarded by expectations, comparisons, and decisions—curiosity is often overshadowed by criticism. 

But what if we could flip the script? What if curiosity became our default setting, especially when it comes to our relationship with money and life?

Here’s the problem with criticism: criticism is quick. 

It jumps to conclusions. It sees what’s wrong and amplifies it. Whether we’re criticising ourselves for not saving enough, not being a better parent, or not understanding things as well as we think we should, that voice in our head can be harsh. It points out every misstep, every perceived failure, and every gap in our financial knowledge.

And it’s not just self-criticism. We can be quick to criticise others, too. Perhaps you’ve judged a partner for overspending, a friend for being overly frugal, or a colleague for their seemingly extravagant lifestyle. Criticism creates distance—it builds walls instead of bridges.

But here’s the thing: criticism doesn’t fix anything. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of blame and shame, making it nearly impossible to move forward with clarity or purpose.

Curiosity, on the other hand, invites understanding. It pauses, leans in, and asks: Why? Why did I make that decision? Why does my partner approach money this way? Why does this particular financial situation make me feel uneasy?

When we approach life—and money—from a place of curiosity, we shift from judgment to exploration. Instead of berating yourself for overspending last month, you might ask: What was going on for me emotionally? Was I stressed, celebrating, or seeking comfort? Instead of criticising a loved one for their financial choices, you might ask: What values or experiences might be influencing their behaviour?

This shift isn’t about excusing poor decisions or ignoring hard truths. It’s about creating the space to understand those decisions and truths on a deeper level. And when we understand, we can make changes—thoughtful, intentional changes that align with our values and goals.

Curiosity in action

Curiosity can transform how we approach financial planning. For example:

  • Instead of saying, “I’m terrible with money,” try asking, “What’s one small thing I can learn or improve today?”
  • Instead of thinking, “I’ll never get out of debt,” ask, “What’s the first step I can take to change this?”
  • Instead of assuming, “My partner just doesn’t care about saving,” consider asking, “What does financial security mean to them?”

This mindset shift can also extend to our conversations with advisors, mentors, and even our families. A curious approach fosters collaboration and openness, paving the way for better communication and more effective problem-solving.

From criticism to connection

Choosing curiosity over criticism isn’t always easy—it requires slowing down, being present, and letting go of the need to be right. But the rewards are profound. Curiosity doesn’t just improve our financial habits; it strengthens our relationships, builds self-compassion, and helps us navigate life’s challenges with grace.

So the next time you find yourself in a critical spiral—whether it’s about money, work, or life in general—pause. Take a breath. And ask a simple, powerful question: Why? You might be surprised by the answers that follow.

In the end, creating space to be curious isn’t just about improving our financial well-being; it’s about nurturing a mindset that sees opportunities for growth and connection in every moment.

And that, perhaps, is the most valuable investment of all.

Authenticity or attachment

Why do we say yes when we mean no? Why do we say no when deep down we wish we could say yes? These are questions that dig beneath the surface of our everyday choices, revealing the deeper, often hidden stories we tell ourselves.

In his insightful discussions, Dr. Gabor Maté highlights a core conflict many of us experience: we prioritise attachment over authenticity. Whether it’s in our relationships, careers, or even financial decisions, we often avoid being true to ourselves out of fear—fear of rejection, fear of judgment, or fear of losing connection. But at what cost?

Why we struggle with authenticity

At its heart, the struggle between authenticity and attachment is a universal human dilemma. From an early age, we’re conditioned to seek approval and fit in. This often leads to patterns of saying yes to things that don’t serve us, or no to opportunities that could bring growth, all in an effort to maintain connection or avoid conflict.

For example, imagine a friend asking you to lend them money. Deep down, you may feel uncomfortable—perhaps you’ve been burned in the past, or maybe you simply can’t afford to say yes right now. Yet, instead of honouring your boundaries, you agree, worried that saying no might damage the relationship. In that moment, attachment wins over authenticity, and while the relationship might seem intact on the surface, resentment can quietly take root.

The financial stories we tell ourselves

This internal tug-of-war isn’t limited to our personal relationships; it shows up in our financial lives, too. Think about the stories you tell yourself when making spending decisions. Are you buying the luxury car because it aligns with your values, or because you feel pressured to keep up with those around you? Are you saying yes to another family vacation because you truly want to go, or because you fear disappointing your loved ones?

Our financial behaviours often reflect deeper emotional needs—needs for acceptance, security, or self-worth. But when we act out of alignment with our true values, we not only jeopardise our financial goals but also lose sight of what truly matters to us.

The courage to choose authenticity

Choosing authenticity over attachment doesn’t mean abandoning connection or becoming rigid in your boundaries. It means finding a balance where your yes and no come from a place of honesty and alignment with your values. This shift requires self-awareness and the courage to confront the stories you’ve been telling yourself about who you need to be to belong.

Financially, this could look like rethinking your spending habits and asking, “Does this purchase align with my long-term goals, or am I trying to impress others?” It might involve having honest conversations with family members about holiday spending, choosing to prioritise savings over gifts, or setting boundaries when loved ones ask for financial support.

Living the truth of both yes and no

Authenticity doesn’t mean always saying no, just as attachment doesn’t always mean saying yes. It’s about being deliberate with your decisions and understanding the underlying motivations driving them. This practice can create a sense of empowerment—not just in your financial life but in every aspect of your well-being.

Dr. Maté reminds us that authenticity is not about isolating ourselves; it’s about showing up as we truly are, without fear or apology. When we let go of the need for constant approval, we open the door to deeper, more meaningful relationships and a financial life that reflects our true values.

Roadblocks and reflections

Life is full of roadblocks. They come in many forms: an unexpected expense, a career setback, a strained relationship, or even just a sense of stagnation. At first glance, these challenges can feel overwhelming, frustrating, and even unfair. But what if we stopped seeing roadblocks as something meant to halt our progress and instead viewed them as opportunities to pause, reflect, and redirect?

Every obstacle we encounter forces us to ask important questions: Am I on the right path? Am I pursuing what truly matters? What is this roadblock trying to teach me? Often, the roadblocks that seem to hold us back are the very catalysts for growth we need to move forward—but only if we’re willing to reflect on them with an open mind.

Are You Reacting or Reflecting?

When we hit a roadblock, our first instinct is often to react. We rush to fix the problem or find a way around it as quickly as possible. But reacting without reflection can lead us down the same unproductive path, over and over again. Albert Einstein famously said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” To truly overcome challenges, we need to step back, gain perspective, and reconsider our approach.

Financially, this might look like an unexpected expense throwing your budget into chaos. Do you simply patch the hole with a quick fix, like taking on high-interest debt? Or do you use the moment as a chance to evaluate your spending habits and build an emergency fund? 

Reflection transforms a short-term inconvenience into a long-term improvement.

The Gift of Perspective

Roadblocks often highlight areas of our lives that need attention. Maybe a career setback reveals that we’ve been ignoring our true passions. Or perhaps an unexpected financial hurdle reminds us of the importance of saving and planning for the future. These challenges, while uncomfortable, offer valuable perspective. They encourage us to focus not just on where we are, but on where we truly want to go.

Take a moment to think about the last time you faced a roadblock. How did it make you feel? More importantly, what did it teach you? Reflection doesn’t just help us solve problems; it helps us understand ourselves better. 

It helps us identify patterns in our behaviour and make intentional choices to break free from them.

Turning Roadblocks into Stepping Stones

The key to turning a roadblock into a stepping stone lies in our mindset. It’s about seeing challenges not as failures, but as opportunities to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient. This doesn’t mean the process will be easy—growth rarely is. But by embracing roadblocks as part of our journey, rather than interruptions to it, we allow ourselves to keep moving forward with purpose.

In financial planning, this mindset shift is particularly powerful. A bad investment, an unexpected job loss, or a period of market volatility can feel like insurmountable obstacles. But each of these moments offers a chance to reassess, realign, and rebuild. Maybe it’s time to revisit your budget, diversify your investments, or reevaluate your long-term goals. Reflection doesn’t just help you navigate challenges—it helps you emerge from them stronger and more focused than before.

Roadblocks will always be part of life, but they don’t have to define it. With reflection, they can become the stepping stones that lead you toward a more intentional, purpose-driven future. The road ahead may not always be smooth, but with the right mindset, it will always be worth travelling.

Dealing with loss when everyone else is celebrating

Holidays and special occasions often bring with them the joy of celebration, the warmth of shared moments, and the comfort of togetherness. Yet, for many, they also highlight the quiet ache of loss. Whether it’s the empty chair at the dinner table, the sting of a recent job loss, or the ongoing battle with a serious illness, these moments can magnify pain that is otherwise neatly tucked away in the everyday busyness of life.

Dr. Susan David’s words resonate deeply: “When we move from sympathy to empathy to compassion, we bring action to our intention. Being action-oriented doesn’t mean rushing in to fix. It can be holding space. Allowing for pain. Choosing to actively see. Instead of standing across the person in pain, we stand with them.”

Turning toward, not away, applies not only to how we support others but also to how we navigate our own pain and challenges, especially during times of emotional or financial stress. The inclination to avoid or ignore the difficult aspects of our lives is natural. Yet, true resilience is built when we face those challenges head-on with compassion and purpose, and this holds true when it comes to financial planning as well.

Consider the emotional and financial strain of losing a job. The initial instinct may be to shut down, to avoid facing the realities of altered finances and uncertain futures. However, turning towards the situation means acknowledging the immediate pain, understanding the new financial landscape, and beginning to map out a way forward.

This doesn’t mean fixing everything at once; it could mean reaching out to a financial planner for guidance, seeking emotional support from loved ones, or giving oneself permission to pause and regroup.

The same is true for other life-altering situations, such as dealing with a serious illness or grieving the loss of a loved one. These moments often come with unexpected expenses, shifts in financial priorities, and emotional upheaval that can cloud decision-making. During these times, financial planning might seem secondary, but it’s essential. It’s not just about numbers; it’s about creating a sense of security that allows space for healing.

Empathy in action is acknowledging that it’s okay not to have all the answers immediately. Financial planners can play an invaluable role by holding space for clients, not just as professionals guiding numbers on a spreadsheet, but as partners who stand with them in their time of need. This approach transforms financial planning from a transactional service to a relationship built on trust and compassion. It’s about helping people make informed choices, even when faced with life’s greatest uncertainties.

As we approach these special seasons that can stir both joy and sorrow, let’s remind ourselves that financial planning is not solely about wealth accumulation. It’s about creating a life that holds space for all of our experiences—the good, the bad, and everything in between. It’s about having a plan that adapts when life doesn’t go as planned and knowing that we have the support we need to navigate whatever comes our way.

So, this season, whether you are celebrating or simply making it through, remember that turning towards your situation with empathy and compassion—both for yourself and those around you—can be the first step toward healing, stability, and a more secure tomorrow.

Echo chambers and our money

Have you ever noticed how a conversation with people who share your views can make you feel more strongly about what you already believe? Legal scholar Cass Sunstein captured this phenomenon perfectly when he observed, “What we know is if you get groups of like-minded people together, they tend to end up thinking a more extreme version of what they thought before they started to talk.”

This observation isn’t just about politics or social issues – it’s particularly relevant to how we think about and plan our finances.

Think about your own financial circle for a moment. Who do you talk to about money? Your colleagues who share similar salaries and lifestyles? Friends who have the same investment approach? Family members, who passed down their money beliefs to you?

While these conversations feel comfortable, they might be creating an echo chamber that reinforces existing beliefs and biases rather than challenging them.

Consider Natalie, a successful professional who was convinced that property was the only worthwhile investment because everyone in her social circle was a property investor. It wasn’t until she encountered a diverse financial planning team that she realised she’d been viewing her financial future through a narrow lens. By opening herself to different perspectives, she discovered a world of opportunities she hadn’t previously considered.

The danger of financial echo chambers is that they can lead to:

  • Overlooking potential opportunities
  • Dismissing valid risks
  • Reinforcing unhealthy money habits
  • Missing out on innovative financial strategies
  • Failing to adapt to changing circumstances

But here’s the good news: we can break free from these echo chambers. Here’s how:

Seek Out Diverse Perspectives
Just as a healthy diet requires various nutrients, a healthy financial mindset needs diverse inputs. This might mean reading different financial authors, following varied experts, or engaging with people who have different approaches to money.

Challenge Your Assumptions
When was the last time you questioned your fundamental beliefs about money? Maybe you believe “property always goes up” or “the stock market is too risky.” Where did these beliefs come from? Are they still serving you well?

Embrace Constructive Disagreement
Sometimes, the most valuable financial advice comes from someone who disagrees with us. Instead of dismissing contrary views, try to understand them. What insights might they offer? Questions we can’t answer are often far healthier for us than answers we can’t question.

Work with a Financial Planner
A good financial planner doesn’t just echo what you want to hear. We bring diverse expertise and perspectives, challenging your assumptions when necessary while supporting your goals.

Consider Cultural and Generational Perspectives
Different cultures and generations often have varying approaches to money. These differences aren’t right or wrong – they’re opportunities to learn and adapt our own financial strategies.

Question the Crowd
Just because “everyone” is investing in cryptocurrency or buying rental properties doesn’t mean it’s right for your situation. Sometimes, the wisest financial moves aren’t the most popular ones.

Remember, the goal isn’t to abandon your financial beliefs entirely, but to enrich them with diverse perspectives. It’s easy to get caught in echo chambers, actively seeking balanced financial advice might be one of the most important investments you can make.

After all, the best financial decisions often come not from confirming what we already believe, but from being open to what we might learn from others.

A worldview shaped by ‘enough’

Wherever people are involved… it’s not uncommon for conflict to arise—whether with loved ones, colleagues, or even within ourselves. At the heart of many of these conflicts lies a common thread: a worldview shaped by scarcity.

We may think that conflicts are purely situational, stemming from disagreements or unmet expectations, but more often than not, they go deeper. They reveal a story of feeling like we don’t have enough, aren’t enough, or aren’t receiving enough.

Scarcity, in this context, is more than just a lack of resources—it’s a mindset. It’s a subtle, pervasive belief that there isn’t enough to go around. This belief can shape how we think about time, money, love, and success. It fuels the fear that we must compete for limited resources, leaving us feeling anxious, defensive, or even combative.

When we look at money behaviours, we often find that scarcity thinking plays a significant role. Scarcity might manifest as the fear of never having enough savings, leading to overly restrictive budgeting or, conversely, impulsive spending as a way to feel temporarily abundant. Or perhaps it’s the persistent worry that our investment strategy won’t measure up, leading us to make erratic decisions based on fear rather than logic.

The problem with this scarcity worldview is that it doesn’t just impact our wallets; it spills over into our relationships, work, and overall well-being. When we’re operating from a place of scarcity, every disagreement or unexpected financial challenge feels like a personal threat.

The result? We react with fear, frustration, or defensiveness, further deepening the cycle of conflict.

So, what if we dared to shift our perspective and embrace an abundance mindset? What if, instead of focusing on what we lack, we celebrated what we have and trusted that more will come our way? While it might sound overly simplistic, too spiritual or even idealistic, shifting to an abundance worldview can radically change how we interact with money, and consequently, how we engage with life.

An abundance mindset invites us to see opportunities where we once saw limitations. It’s not just about believing there’s enough money, time, or love in the world; it’s about trusting that we are enough. When we truly believe that we have the resources, resilience, and worth to face life’s challenges, the way we approach financial planning, relationships, and goals shift.

Adopting this new mindset doesn’t eliminate fear entirely—fear is a natural human emotion—but it helps us approach it differently. Instead of letting fear dictate our choices, we acknowledge it, understand its roots, and choose to act from a place of trust and clarity.

This way, fear becomes a signal for growth rather than a barrier to it.

In practical terms, adopting an abundance worldview might mean being more intentional with how we manage our finances. It might involve setting realistic, value-driven financial goals rather than chasing arbitrary milestones. It could mean openly communicating with a partner about shared financial aspirations, framing conversations around what you can achieve together rather than what you might fall short of.

The scarcity mindset thrives on comparison, insecurity, and a relentless pursuit of ‘more.’ But when we choose abundance, we choose to acknowledge that what we have is enough, that who we are is enough, and that life itself is abundant in opportunities to grow, connect, and thrive.

Next time a financial worry arises or a conflict brews, take a pause and ask: Am I approaching this from a place of scarcity or abundance? The answer may just change how you navigate not only your financial journey but also your life.